Once upon a time
in English 101
I assigned an essay
on Little Red Riding Hood
It was a cultural analysis
and comparison of
different versions across time:
Perrault's cautionary tale
about the loss of virginity
and Grimms' invention of
the Patriarchial huntsmen
who cuts Little Red from the Wolf's belly
In class we discussed the symbolism:
red cloak as coming-of-age menstrual flow
Big Bad Wolf as bestial male sexuality
and the dark forest a liminal space
I had a conservative Christian student
named Misty
who was horrified by this
carnal corruption of the beloved classic
Her first essay told the story
of her church chastity class
where she pledged virginity to Jesus
until the warm confines of wedlock
Her father called me on the phone
his voice like a nuclear submarine
deep and full of threat
He wanted to know why
I was teaching pornography
I explained I was teaching
fairy tale analysis
It was clear that I had become
the Big Bad Wolf by
corrupting the innocent college students
with perverted Freudian theories
and pernicious Feminist underpinnings
It turns out fairy tales are very dangerous
which I always suspected
After a large group discussion
about Freedom of Speech
in which Misty ranted about
the epidemic of pornography in society
she finally relaxed
For her third essay
she wrote a conflict narrative
about the boyfriend
who lied to her
stole her virginity
and dumped her
She didn't tell her dad the truth
about her pledge to Jesus
but she did get an A in the class
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